might as well.

SHIFTED.
http://joetan.diaryland.com

back in 2002, i had a replacement english teacher, Mr. Clement Tan. that was when i was sec 2, and in the entire year we had like 4 or 5 english teachers, him being one of them. i remember when he first came, he made the class write an introductory essay, for him to kind of assess our 'INTELLIGENCE'.
the essay had to be something about english, and 800 words long if im not wrong. i wrote a brilliant piece of work, cuz i wasnt feeling really lazy on that day, and he gave me a high score for it.
the next essay he assigned us was nothing short of tedious, thus me being me, wrote a pretty lousy one. LAZY LAZY LAZY. what i DIDN'T expect was that he called me out to the front of the class and gave me a really loud lecture of why i shud've gave it my all for the essay. i still remember that day, everybody in the class was seated and the room was silent, only his loud clear voice was heard across the room. "you are clearly wasting your potential, and it is not something you should be proud of. if you continue going on like this, you will regret it in time to come."

i never really thought about those words, i just brushed them off. only recently did i recall this incident and actually think about those words said.

i shall be a little thick-skinned here, and say i have a gift. i latch on to stuff much faster than the people around me, and that is why i excel in subjects like maths and physics when i was still studying things like that. right now, my understanding of music theory is one of the best among my schoolmates. and i am sure, back then, if i wasn't so lazy and i actually TRIED, i would've done well in subjects like chemistry and history.

so i lied... ive always said i didnt understand chemistry and stuff like that, but it was due to the fact that my attention span in chemistry class was like 2 seconds. no wait, who am i kidding. my attention span for ALMOST ALL the classes were 2 seconds. chi fatt blames it on the broad bean extracts ive mistakenly had when i was young, but the truth is, i KNOW i cud've done it if i wanted to. i just never really tried.

when u were young, u were always told to follow your dreams and the like. the fairytales, folk stories, teenage cartoons and CHANNEL 8 DRAMA SERIALS all tell you about the 'cool' rebellious kids going against their dictative parents, and then finally reaching the happy ending. sure, when i was young i thought they were cool and stuff. follow your dreams! even if u don't do your homework, and are a school drop-out, you can still become a ROCKSTAR! don't listen to your parents, veggies cant be any good when they taste like the colour green! that was back then. now? i realise ive wasted away MOST of my life.

so i have a gift. but i didnt utilise it to the fullest. people who arent gifted but are hardworkers are called Thomas Edison. people who are, but are too lazy to even bother using it are called Losers. a.k.a. Joetan. bloody hell, i need to pull up my socks. at least im not that old yet, so i can make up for my wasted time. if not all, just some would suffice.

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"
Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child.
"Yes." whispered the child, "a policeman." Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy," whispered the child. "Busy doing what?" asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer.
Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper." answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed.
In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned, and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?" Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "Me!"

here's some food for thought: when u call others stubborn, are u stubborn as well?

An old guy’s car collides with a young guy’s car and both are demolished. The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was hurt in the accident.
The old guy says, "Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days."
"Sure," says the young guy, convinced the old man’s crazy.
"And look at this!" says the old guy, reaching back into his car. "A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune."
Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. "Aren’t you having any?" asks the young guy.
"No, thanks," replies the old guy. "I’ll wait for the police."

RENOVATED! i have given my blog a new lease of life. i hope that ppl will read this blog and be HEALTHY!

okay, healthy must take meds right. and LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE. so from now on, my posts shall carry a joke in BOLD at the end. ahahaha... OKAY. GOOD NIGHT!

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to the gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at the woman and all of his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately asks her to undress. After she has disrobed, the doctor begins stroking her thigh.
"Do you know what I’m doing?" he asks.
"Yes," she replies. "You’re checking for any abrasions or abnormalities."
"That’s right," says the doctor. Emboldened, he then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"
"You’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer," she replies.
"Correct," says the doctor. Deciding to go for broke, he mounts her and begins having sex with her. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You’re getting herpes—which is what I came here about in the first place."

I AM OFFICIALLY LEVEL 2. lets do a bit of reflective(more like replayed) thinking.

so when i realised i was in the danger of being retained, i immediately went through the pros and cons. but since its something negative, lets go about with the cons first.
CONS:
1. it would be a waste of a year.
2. it would be quite a waste of money.
3. i would not be taking the year with the friends who are NOT going to retain.
4. i would be playing with the foundation peeps, who are generally not very nice.
5. i would have too much time than i would know what to do with.
and now, the pros.
PROS:
1. it would be a year of time for me to improve to catch up with everyone else in skill level.
2. i would be taking the year with friends who, like me, are going to retain.
3. i would be playing with the foundation peeps, who arent very awesome, so i wud be ahead.
4. i would have too much time than i would know what to do with.

after days of pondering, i've decided i wanted to try my VERY best to pass the year. i didn't want to miss playing with my classmates, most imptly edward, rachma, elaine, audrey, bryan, bob and chris. so i tried my best to pass. but, i didnt think my best was good enough. i was convinced i was going to get retained. when finally my results came...

OMG! I PASSED! BY A MARGIN! ahahahaha.... my weakest module, which wud pull me down, was 40 ON THE DOT(the pass mark, for those who dont know)!!! PLUS edward, rachma, and EVERYONE else passed! with the exception of audrey, from what i heard. josiah, letitia and gil too. plus we have to say goodbye to bob, who isnt going to be given another chance. sad as it is, we're leaving some behind to move on.

so now that a new acad year is starting, im going to change this accompanied-me-from-secondary-school blog skin into something else more... grownup. ahahahaha... watch this space!

i feel so useless sometimes... i always make u angry, and sometimes even make u cry. well, im not going to be useless anymore. right now, im someone who's not even good at ANYTHING. so im going to learn how to massage. i'll ask my mum, and give a KICKASS BODY MASSAGE. then i wun feel so useless, and be so helpless to all ur stresses. i shall be a loving boyfriend. for ur sake, and for my sake. i am going to make u the happiest person alive, cuz this way, i can be happy too. cuz i love you.

ALOT.

well, MASSAGE MY ASS. i wish i could give u the things u dont have, and rid u of all the things that make u frown. massage is like the MOST i can do. why am i so handicapped?? I WANT TO DO MORE. but i cant. cuz im good-for-nothing. cant do anything right by myself. but i'll try. i, joe tan yuzuo dartwomon scommy, am going to try my best to make a difference, and be the best than i can be to the people around me. i am going to be so motivated, I WILL BEAT WILL SMITH IN DETERMINATION. i will. though the results probably wun be awesome, i will change. watch me, world. and be proud of me.